Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Thursday 14th July, 2014: Chemo... Some days are Hard Days

Keeping a positive attitude in no way exempts you from  going through difficult times! It is one of the small lessons I have learned in the last couple of months. It doesn't take away the crappy days or the awful side effects that I watch my husband go through, but it does give us the tools we need to keep putting one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward.

naps...vital for recovery

The last week since chemo#2 hasn't been quite as tolerable for Bren. The side effects have been a little worse, so he has been more exhausted and eating hasn't been as easy. Some night's I have laid beside him listening to him breathe as he sleeps and I have watched him resting exhausted on the lounge, and I think to myself...what a crazy turn of events...when did this become our story? Not for a minute 6 months ago would I have imagined that my husband; strong, fit and handsome as he is, as the face of Cancer, yet he is. I feel his vulnerability in his quieter moments, which is another of his greatest strengths, never afraid to show his emotions and feel his feelings...but I can't help but wish at these times, at all times, that there were no such thing as cancer.

The beauty of being surrounded by so many wonderful family and friends at this time is the guarantee that on a "crappy" day one of them will usually do or say something wonderful, out of the blue, that just blows the crappy away. Showing unconditional love and kindness that proves to us how much positivity we have in our lives regardless of the difficulties that have come along.

family & friends .... vital for recovery :)

Staying positive is in no way a denial of what we are going through, it is a choice we make to make going through it easier. I have never asked the question "why us?" because I know the answer would be "why not us!" And I refuse to place any fear around our situation because I will not live in fear. As we know the only day we truly have is the one we are in now, it would be such a waste to spend it in fear and negativity.

Cancer has chosen our family in this lottery, so I will open my arms and embrace every lesson this leg of the journey is offering up and do it saying...  "F#&K You cancer" (words inspired by our dearest friends so I use them proudly :) You are in for one Hell of a fight! Team Brendan has got this!!

Today I am Glad that each morning when I wake up I have a choice....positive or negative! There really is only one way to go :), and more than that I am Glad that we have without a doubt the best family and friends that we could ever have hoped for.

Love you all very, very much!

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