Friday, 7 November 2014

back on the wagon...getting my fit back!

One of the first things that happened after Brendan's diagnosis in June was that we stopped training together; as among other things such as driving, he has been unable to run, crossfit, and until this week... pedal a spin bike. I could have continued to train without him and I know that, but it was easier to choose not to. It was also easy to justify this to myself with everything that was going on, but as the months passed I became very disappointed in myself for allowing my motivation to just pick up and leave. I rarely had the inclination to make the time to nor wanted to exercise without Brendan as my PT, beside me. And if I did, I found myself feeling guilty about doing something I knew he dearly wanted to be doing but couldn't. I also knew that he would kick my butt for feeling that way if he knew that was how I felt. 


Beach training 8/11/14...the perfect motivation, now to try and stay on the wagon  :) 

So five months on, with Brendan's treatment going incredibly well and only one round of chemo to go before his lung operation is scheduled [the operation will probably be early in the New Year as there just doesn't seem to be enough time before the end of the year to have it done before Christmas, but I guess we'll know more soon] I have decided its time to climb back on the wagon and get my fit back. My strength and stamina have all but deserted me; I guess I'm not that surprised that you lose it far quicker than you gain it, because it was so bloody hard to gain.

We have all heard the air stewards at the beginning of a flight explain the emergency procedure of always putting the oxygen mask on yourself before attending to a child or other dependent in your care. Well it’s no different in a carer situation when a member of the family has cancer or any other illness. You have to maintain a high level of wellness for yourself so as not to let down those you are caring for. I knew that on a practical level, yet it still took me way too long to put that knowledge into practice. My little family were very lucky that I was also a strong and fit person going into our cancer journey, as I had plenty in reserve to get us through to now. But it's time to top it up, because I had know idea how much physical strength and stamina, or how much spiritual and mental strength I was going to need to deal with what lay ahead in those early days. As the journey is not quite over yet...it's time to look after me, so I can look after my family.

So this week I have started back slowly, in my old routine of 3 days on, one off. I have been doing some walking/running,  with a bit of strength work at the end. And I have hardly been able to move the last two days without wincing! For obvious reasons I am not getting any sympathy from my beloved husband when wincing, however he has laughed a couple of times! I took myself to the beach today to do my strength work down there. And yes, it was a little bit more enjoyable surrounded by the sea, the surf and a beautiful blue sky. But I can think of better ways to enjoy time at the beach, it does feel good knowing you have done something when you have finished though!

As sore as I am everywhere, it feels good to be making my health and fitness a priority again!

Just quietly I think the PT is very please!



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